


Just Roommates

by SupernaturalWinchester67



Series: Just Roommates [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 05:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16886901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalWinchester67/pseuds/SupernaturalWinchester67
Summary: The reader has had feelings for her best friend, Dean, for a long time. When Dean brings a new girlfriend home and he starts treating the reader differently, she tries to move on with someone unlikely. The only problem is, the reader isn’t the only one hiding a secret…





	1. Chapter 1

“Um, hi,” you said to the tall blonde sitting in your spot at the kitchen table. 

“Hi!” she said, voice way too bubbly for your taste. “I’m Jenny!”

“Y/N,” you said, giving her a short but curt smile. “Why are you in my house Jenny?”

“She’s my girlfriend, Y/N,” said Dean, walking back into the room. Oh. Well if you didn’t suddenly feel like crap. “This is Y/N, my roommate.”

Oh, so you were his  _roommate_? Not his best friend, not the person who’d stitched him up countless times, saved his life, took bullets and stabs for, picked up his pieces when he fell apart and put him back together. No, you were just his roommate now. After everything you’d been through.

“Dean’s making me dinner. Isn’t that cute?” she said. You smiled and tried your best to not make it look forced as you looked her over. A tight little shirt that was too short and surely a push up bra underneath. A skirt that practically showed everything and heels that belonged to a stripper. She would have been very pretty in your opinion if she hadn’t doused her face in makeup and blown out her hair to give it unnecessary volume. 

“Oh, yeah. Dean’s so cute like that,” you said, walking over and grabbing your coat from where she’d obviously moved it. “I’m going out.”

“Okay,” said Dean, not bothering to turn around to even say goodbye. He didn’t bother to ask where you were going, when you expected to come home. He didn’t bother to say not to drink too much or to be careful or don’t let anyone take advantage of you. Maybe he really was in love with this chick.

“Going to your boyfriends?” asked Jenny, oblivious to the fact that you were scowling at Dean’s back.

“No, just out.”

 

“Can I buy you a drink?” asked a distinctly British voice. Oh, if it’d been Ketch that would have pissed Dean off good. But it was someone else and that just made you think of an even better way to twist the knife.

“You can even buy me two Crowley,” you said, turning to see him sit beside you. “Keeping tabs on me?”

“Not like you to go out without Squirrel. Besides, I’m calling in that favor,” said Crowley, your eye roll hard as you downed the two shots in front of you.

“Fine. Let’s get this over with,” you said. “Not like my night can get any worse.”

 

“I appreciate it love,” said Crowley a short while later. You shook your head as you wiped your blade clean and tossed the rag in the trash.

“I still can’t believe you used up your favor on this,” you said. “Killing three out of line demons?”

“I don’t want to be that kind of boss,” said Crowley. “You looked like you wanted to kill something anyways.”

“I did. Her name’s Jenny,” you said, Crowley raising an eyebrow. “Forget it.”

“Oh, cat fight?” asked Crowley, a hint of genuine curiosity in there.

“Dean’s new girlfriend. He’s different now,” you said, sitting on the hood of your car, not wanting to have to go home and hear whatever sounds they were making yet.

“It’s no secret you’re in love with the idiot,” said Crowley. You shrugged and were surprised when he walked in front of you and held your hand.

“What are you doing?” you asked glancing up to him.

“Want to blow off some steam?” he asked. You scoffed.

“I’m not sleeping with you,” you said, tossing his hand away. Crowley groaned and you saw his expression change.

“You need to be mad at something and I’ve got more hunts for you. Plus I have a place for you to sleep tonight where you don’t-”

“I’m in.”

 

“Well hey stranger,” said Dean when you walked in the kitchen one morning. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in months.”

“Been busy,” you said, pouring yourself a fast bowl of cereal before packing up and heading out for another one of Crowley’s hunts.

“I’ve noticed. I’m not really a fan of you hunting alone you know. I thought we were going to look into that other thing too,” he said. You laughed as he pouted. 

“I’m a big girl Dean. I can do what I want,” you said, eating as fast as possible to get out of there and away from him. Dean didn’t push it as his phone went off.

“God, she’s overbearing,” said Dean, reading over a text. “Why can’t she be more like you?”

“Hey, you wanted tits and ass, that’s what you got,” you said, tossing your dishes in the sink. “I’ll be back in a few days probably.”

“Y/N, I can come with you. Give me a reason to get away-”

“If you don’t want to be with her, breakup with her. Otherwise go hangout with your girlfriend,” you said, brushing past him. “I’m hunting alone.”

You were climbing into your car when you patted your jacket pocket and realized you’d left your phone behind. It wasn’t in your room, not in the bathroom or library. 

“Kitchen,” you said to yourself, walking in and instantly seeing red. “ _Are you going through my phone?_ ”

“Are you fucking dating Crowley,  _love_?” shot back Dean as he held your phone in his hands. “You’ve been sexting him? Seriously Y/N?”

“Well he pays attention to me at least. Hell, we’ve killed so many monsters lately it’s starting to make me think you’re shitty at your job, Dean,” you said, walking forward and stealing the phone back.

“You’ve been hunting with him?” asked Dean, your back already turned to him to cut through the library. “Don’t walk away from me!”

“Sorry. I’ve got a hunt with my boyfriend,” you said back. Maybe you and Crowley had never really done anything, maybe you kept it to flirting and talking and not much else but at least the demon wanted you around.

“No you don’t!” said Dean, grabbing your arm. You stared at him as you tried to shake out of it. He didn’t budge.

“Get your damn hand off of me before I hurt you,” you said, Dean shaking his head. “Have it your way.”

You pulled your knee up to kick back and hit him in the groin but Dean was the one who taught you that move and was already ahead of you. His free arm came around your front and caught your knee, pressing it into your chest and making you go off balance.

“Shit,” you said, falling forward to the ground, Dean coming with you and making sure you had no where to go. “Get off!” you shouted at him, struggling under him. 

“You’re going to call him and end this. Now,” said Dean, staring down with so much anger you started to feel helpless. 

“Make me,” you said. Dean simply tilted his head and moved both of your wrists under his hand, pinning them down as he pulled your phone from you pocket and texted Crowley. “You ass.”

“Well he doesn’t seem too broken up about it, kid,” said Dean, turning the phone around to show that Crowley said it’d been fun but he understood. Dean climbed off of you and stood up, tossing your phone in your lap on the way.

“I’m leaving,” you said, sitting up. “I’m getting the Hell away from you.”

“What?” said Dean, laughing to himself as he turned back around. “You hated being on your own.”

“I hate living here, being demoted to the stupid girl who lives here with you. Having to hear from your girlfriend that she wants me out of my own home all the time. Guess what, she wins. She got you. I’m gone,” you said, moving to stand up when Dean quickly walked over to you.

“Are you that fucking stupid?” asked Dean. “I’m not letting you move out.”

“I’m. Not. Yours,” you gritted out, shaking with the effort to not break down in front of him.

“Well you’re supposed to be!” he shouted. “You never wanted me and all I ever wanted was for you to be with me, like we’re fucking supposed to!”

“I’ve been in love with you for fucking ever Dean! Why didn’t you grow a pair and ask me out!” you yelled, standing and getting in his face.

“I’m not allowed!” he shouted, taking you away from your rage for a moment. “I’m not allowed.”

“ _What does that mean?_ ” you said, squinting your face. “What could that possibly-”

“Chuck said…he said we had to wait to be together or things would go bad,” said Dean.

“They went bad! Sam’s fucking gone, Dean.  _He’s in Hell_. You don’t think part of me being with Crowley was to work that? To get Sam back?” you said.

“Why didn’t you say that before?” asked Dean, throwing his hands up.

“Why didn’t you tell me before? Guess what, you waited too long,” you said. 

“Fine. I fucked up. Hate me, hate your…” he trailed off, biting his tongue.

“Hate my what, Dean? Because it sounded a lot like you were about to say soulmate,” you said, Dean shutting his eyes.

“Why do you think I said I wasn’t allowed. We can’t be together until we’re supposed to be if we want to last,” he said. 

“Chuck! Get down here before I kill him!” you shouted at the ceiling. A minute passed before he popped in with his maroon hoodie on.

“Oh she’s pissed,” said Chuck, looking to Dean for help. “You told her didn’t you?”

“What the Hell did  _you_  tell him? Did you-”

“I didn’t do anything but point out the obvious. Don’t you two remember the past five minutes?” said Chuck. “That rage?”

“Yes!” you and Dean both shouted. 

“It’s not all rainbows and butterflies guys. Maybe for some but for you two, it’s a world of hurt and you get through it together,” said Chuck.

“I’ll tell you who’s in for a world of hurt,” you said, walking forward and grabbing him by the collar. “Why have you made it your life’s  _mission_  to put him through Hell? Why?”

“Because I gave him and you and every other person free will. I _didn’t put him through anything_. People did. You’ve gotten him through. Now be together or you’ll never figure out how to get Sam out,” said Chuck, quickly vanishing. Dean huffed before sitting on top of one of the tables, running his hand over his face.

“Do you love her? Jenny?” you asked, Dean glancing over to where you stood.

“No,” he said quietly. “She’s not very nice. I did it to make you mad, make you jealous or something and I only screwed up,” said Dean.

“Why did Chuck say we weren’t allowed?” you asked. “He just said we should be together.”

“Shit, I’m really that stupid,” said Dean, gripping the edge of the table. “It would have been  _you_. You’d be where Sam is right now. You were annoyed that day because I kept pushing your buttons so you swapped with Sam. That’s what he was warning me about.”

“Why does that matter?” you asked, stepping over to him, hesitantly reaching out to touch his hand. Dean relaxed and opened it up, sliding his fingers over yours.

“I don’t know why but for some reason, you’re the one who’s going to get Sam out.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and reader are at odds with each other as they attempt to rescue Sam…

_“How am I supposed to get Sam out of Hell, Dean?_ What can I do that you can’t or Sammy couldn’t?” you asked. You pulled away from Dean, his hand falling from your grasp. No, he wasn’t getting off that easy after ignoring you for months. Not to mention hiding the fact what the two of you were.

“I don’t know. It’s all I’ve got at the moment,” he said slowly and low. 

“Don’t use that tone with me,” you said. Dean laughed and crossed his arms. “I’m fucking serious.”

“Why are we still fighting! We should be good now!” he said. You took your turn to laugh, shaking your head and heading into the archives of the library. “I was talking to you!” 

“Were you now? I forgot what that was like Dean. I feel so honored,” you said, walking down an aisle, sensing Dean on your tail. You barely made it to the second set of shelves before his hand was on your shoulder, spinning you around roughly.

“What is your problem?” he asked, staring down as you shrugged him off.

“I will do everything in my power to get Sam out, Dean. I will. But you…you are not my friend. You aren’t my boyfriend, you aren’t my soulmate. Until we figure this thing out all I am is your roommate. Understand?” you said, turning away fast and getting out of there before he could argue.

“No, I don’t fucking understand,” he said. “What-”

“Unless you want to talk about how to find Sam, I’d keep your mouth shut,” you said.

Dean was quiet but you could hear his heavy exhale as you made your way to the end of the row. You pulled the two large books you knew to start with down and tucked them under your arm, all while Dean watched.

“What,” you said brushing past him and into the library, plopping the books down. You grabbed a notebook and took a seat, Dean shoving one of the books to the other side and sitting across from you.

You worked in silence for a few minutes. The minutes soon turned to an hour, an hour to two, two to all day. No one said a word. Dean picked up a pizza when you took a break, breathing a sigh of relief when you were alone. It didn’t last as you took a shower and changed into something comfortable, your desire to work fading in favor of food and bed.

You were jotting down notes on where to look the next day when Dean sat the box down, silently putting a drink down in front of you. You ate together but he worked the whole time, never once looking up at you. When your eyes felt like they couldn’t stay open another second you went to your room, wishing it wasn’t right next to his. It was only a few minutes later when you saw his shadow pass under the door and his shut nearby. 

Why couldn’t he understand why you were upset? The destined to be whatever crap…you knew Dean. It would have scared the shit out of him to find that out. The man barely let you be his best friend. To have someone to love like that? You weren’t sure he could ever let himself believe he was allowed that. That stuff…you could forgive him for that when it came down to it. 

But the rest of it, no way in Hell were you ready for that. Everything about the two of you broke the second he brought home Jenny. He didn’t want you around, he didn’t talk to you, he didn’t want you there at all. Apparently he was a better actor than you thought because he did want you, more than you knew.

Or he was lying. Maybe he just wanted Sam back and had to keep you around so he lied to get your help. He loved Sam so much you were almost positive there would never be enough room in that heart of his for you too. No, Dean wasn’t that cruel. He was messed up beyond belief but not cruel. Why’d he have to push so damn much?

“Y/N,” said Dean, knocking on your door. “I know you don’t want me to talk but I…I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. For Jenny, for lying, for acting like a stranger…I’m barely holding on here. It’s not fair. I know that. I don’t expect you to forgive me because frankly I don’t forgive myself. I don’t deserve all that you’ve done for me. I don’t deserve you to be my family. But I really fucking need you. Just…don’t run off in the middle of the night on me. I’ll give up if you go too,” he said, his shadow moving away.

You waited until you heard his door close again to let out the breath you’d been holding. You put your head in your hands and took a deep breath, trying to keep a level head.

“Why’d I have to fucking love you of all people, Dean?”

 

You woke up late the next day, still exhausted after staring at the old texts the day before. Maybe you’d run out and grab breakfast to wake you up. You figured you’d run through a drive through, maybe ask Dean if he wanted anything. If the way last night went, it hurt more to hate him than forgive. Not full forgiveness quite yet but you weren’t going to tell him he wasn’t allowed to speak in his own home.

“Dean?” you called out when you heard him shuffling in the kitchen. “Do you want some…” you said, popping your head in to find him flipping over a pancake. He stared at you, eyes a touch wider than normal at your change in demeanor. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. “You can talk to me. I won’t bite your head off again.”

“Sure about that?” he asked, flipping another pancake, keeping eye contact the whole time.

“You made pancakes,” you said, taking a seat at the counter. Dean slid over the three or so good ones on a plate, placing the other burnt ones to the side for himself.

“So,” he said, turning off the griddle and taking a step back with his plate, choosing to eat while standing.

“You make pancakes when you try to apologize to me,” you said. Dean shrugged.

“I’ve made pancakes like twice,” he said, taking a sudden interest in his food.

“You’ve needed to apologize to me twice,” you said.

“Well…hopefully third time’s the charm,” he said. You ate in silence again but it wasn’t as tense as the day before. “Your uh, your notes seemed promising.”

“It’s a dead end,” you said. Dean blinked curiously while you shook your head. “I had trouble sleeping and worked for an hour. It didn’t pan out.”

“I guess we keep looking then,” he said, curling his lips up in a very small, very brief smile.

“What? Do I have syrup all over my face?” you asked, wiping away with a napkin.

“No. You’re perfect,” he said, turning his back to you and cleaning off his plate. “I’ll uh, be in the library after you get dressed.”

“The big green one might be a place to start today, if you want,” you said, sliding off your seat. “I’ll just be a couple minutes.”

“Take all the time you need sweetheart,” said Dean. You stopped and spun around for a brief moment, looking at each other. He’d never called you that. Only women he was interested in got that pet name. “Sorry. Too fast.”

“Lets work on the friends again thing first and see where it goes from there De,” you said. His lips twitched into a fast smile when he remembered you were watching him, quickly hiding it away. De was still rare to you both, foreign on your tongue. You’d only said it to him maybe three times, always when everything had gone to shit and you were going to buck up and tell him… _something_. But it always seemed better to keep your mouth shut.

“You got it,” he said, caught in a place between wanting to go fast and slow all at once. You parted ways from him and went to your room to change, coming back to find a cup of coffee at your spot in the library.

Everyday for two months there was always a cup of coffee waiting for you. Slowly you became friends again but it felt different. You weren’t sure if it was because of how you reacted when he lied, for being with Crowley without telling him…because you two were both terrified of the fact you had an actual soulmate. The peace couldn’t last forever, not when you were still holding back.

“That’s it, I’m fucking done,” said Dean one night, sliding the stack of books he’d been working from off the table. The sound made you jump in your seat. Dean didn’t even give you a second glance as he plucked his coat from the back of the chair and started for the garage.

“Dean, where are you going?” you asked, having to jog some to keep up with him. “Dean!”

“Out to get drunk,” said Dean, bounding up the steps, making a fast break for Baby. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Dean, we’re both stressed but-”

“I need a damn drink alright! I need to forget what a shit show my life is,” he said. He wasn’t stopping and you climbed in the passenger seat, hoping to talk him out of hiding himself away in a bottle. “Get the fuck out. I don’t want to be near you.”

“Make me,” you said. Dean floored it and you slammed back against the seat, giving him a glare as he headed for the nearest bar. “For fuck’s sake Winchester, be a man and pull yourself together.”

“Oh why don’t you go screw your demon boyfriend, Y/N,” said Dean. “I’m sick of this pretending shit. You still hate me. I need a break from you for a few days.”

“I told you, I didn’t do anything with Crowley,” you said. “I only ever talked to him or are you in charge of who I can do that with now?”

“I don’t know, am I allowed to speak to you in my own fucking house?” he asked.

“Pull over,” you said, Dean practically slamming on the brakes. “Maybe a few days away will be good for us both.”

“Make it a week,” he said, as you slammed the door shut in his face and he took off. 

“Stupid fucking Winchester and his stupid self-deprecating crap and his stupid face and stupid fucking…” you muttered to yourself, walking barefoot the half mile or so back to the bunker. 

By the time you were back, your feet hurt and you were shaking from the cold, wet night. You should have been even more angry with him. But he was upset and Dean didn’t know how to ask for help. Not really. If yelling at you helped him get something off his chest, you’d take it. You had to. He was supposed to be your partner and one of you was going to have to be the brave one. If he wouldn’t do it, you would.

You went back to the library, picked up his mess and wrapped up your feet after a long, hot shower. A shower that gave you an idea that Dean would murder you the second he found out. You had to try though.

“He’ll come home drunk and murder you, Y/N, that’s exactly what he’s going to do,” you said, walking around your room, holding your phone in your hands. “He’ll say a million things to talk you out of this. Aah…fuck it.”

“Hello, love,” said the voice on the other end, answering almost immediately. “Long time no chat.”

“Can we…talk…in person,” you said.

“I’m already outside your door,” he said. You hung up and threw on a pair of shoes, walking up the stairs and outside to see Crowley lingering about.

“Boy band reject gone for the night?” asked Crowley with a wink.

“I wanted to talk to you about Sam,” you said. 

“Not happening,” he said, turning around.

“Please just hear me out,” you said, grabbing his arm, spinning him back to face you. 

“Fine but Moose made a deal. I don’t break deals,” said Crowley. You sighed.

“I know that. But what about  _negotiating_  the terms of that deal?” you asked. 

“I’m listening,” said Crowley. You swallowed, imagining just how pissed Dean would be.

“Sam comes back. He’s served his time, he’s no longer in debt to you,” you said. “In return…I work for you, on a temporary basis.”

“How long is temporary love,” said Crowley.

“A month,” you said. He burst out laughing and you clenched your fists. “Fine, two months.”

“Two months? Sorry, Sam is more fun to play with than-”

“Sam is not a toy,” you said. You glared up at Crowley, watching his smile fade away.

“I could make you do despicable things if I agree to this you understand,” he said. Good, the hook was already in.

“I will clean up your house, deal with your demon related messes only. No humans, no angels, nothing else. I get a day off each month too,” you said.

“Negotiating your benefits now? You must be serious,” said Crowley.

“Three months final offer. You need your demons in line again Crowley. You know I can help with that,” you said.

“Three months, starting now,” said Crowley, holding out his hand. 

“Sam goes free?” you asked. Crowley nodded and snapped his fingers. “He should be in his bed if you’d like to check.”

You sprinted inside, running down the hall towards Sam room. Inside he was sleeping soundly, as if it were any other night. You covered him with his blanket and smiled.

“You boys take care of each other while I’m gone,” you said quietly, Sam murmuring and sighing in his sleep. You took your time to change, writing Dean a note to explain before you went back outside.

“Ready to go love?” he said, holding out a hand.

“As I’ll ever be.”

 

You were so freaking happy to have your first day off and get home to see the guys. You hoped Sam was doing okay and that Dean hadn’t drunk himself to death. You were practically giggling when you stepped into the bunker, spotting Sam sitting at the library. 

“Y/N?” he asked, his eyes wide. “You’re back? Or is this just your free day,” he said.

“Just one day but only two more months Sammy,” you said, walking over and feeling him wrap you up in his arms. “I’m doing okay. It’s not that bad.”

“Thank you. I don’t know how to thank you for what you did,” he said.

“It’s alright. You’re family,” you said. “You’ve been…?”

“Better now. First week was rough,” he said. “I’m looking forward to you coming home again.”

“Let’s grab Dean and get some food. I want to be with my two most favorite people today,” you said.

“Hi Y/N,” you heard from behind you, cold and harsh. Dean was calm but his eyes looked like he was about to start spitting fire.

“Listen, I know-”

“Sammy, I’m going out. I’ll be back tomorrow,” said Dean. He grabbed his coat and started heading up the stairs. You followed after, looking over to Sam who only shut his eyes in defeat. “You weren’t invited.”

“Dean, I-”

“How about you don’t come by here anymore,” he said. “I think that’d be best.”

“Dean,” you said. “Dean stop. Dean Winchester, come back and-”

“Later Sammy,” he said with a wave, pushing you back a little and slamming the door shut behind him.

“What the fuck was that!” you said, looking down over the balcony at Sam. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“He’s mad about the deal. Mad about a lot of other stuff too from what I gather,” said Sam. “You know him, won’t talk about it.”

“It’s not that bad of a deal, Sam. He’s…ugh,” you said, walking back down the stairs. “We didn’t get along for a while when you were gone.”

“I figured. Do you not get along with his girlfriend?” asked Sam.

“What?” you said calmly, keeping your voice steady.

“Blondie. Jenny or something like that. Trust me, I’m not a fan but-”

“He’s back with Jenny?” you asked. Sam nodded. “Fucking asshole!”

“Want to tell me what’s going on there kiddo?” asked Sam. You shook your head. “Were you guys…together?”

“No. Not yet. He…God why’d I have to fucking fall for him. You’re the nice one,” you said. “You wouldn’t go back to the girl you were only with in the first place just to make me jealous of something the man was too damn fucking scared of to say in the first place.”

“He never said it to me but I always kind of knew he wanted you in that way,” said Sam.

“I uh, I need to go Sam. I need to pack up my stuff,” you said. His hand caught your arm and you looked back over your shoulder. 

“I want you to stay but…you look like you were the one in Hell for six months, not me. I won’t make you,” he said.

“Thank you,” you said.

“But first I want to go get something to eat with you in case I never see you again,” he said. You laughed sadly at that sentiment.

“You’ll always be my friend Sam. I just can’t be here with him anymore. It hurts too much.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam calls reader back to the bunker for an emergency and things come to a head…

Your gun was raised as you moved through the halls of the bunker, looking for any sign of the Winchesters. A text two hours ago from Sam sent you rushing back there. Thank God you’d finished your deal up three days ago and were free to do as you pleased again. If it’d been during your time, who would Sam have turned to…

“Oh you fucking idiot,” you said to yourself when you realized, lowering your gun. “You fucking…fucking tricking me,” you said. Sam popped his head around a corner with a ‘please don’t kill me’ smile. “Samuel.”

“Sorry, couldn’t think of another way to get you back here kiddo,” said Sam, stepping into the hall by the time you were already heading for the exit. “Hey!”

“Later Sammy,” you said, giving him a wave. 

“God you two are…ah, plan B then,” said Sam, taking a few long strides and grabbing your arm.

“Sam, I will shoot you,” you said. Sam quickly took your gun when he realized you weren’t kidding. “Sam.”

“It’s for your own good. If I have to watch him sulk one more damn day…” said Sam, pushing you down the halls until you were outside Dean’s room. You shook your head no but Sam opened the door and pushed you in as you caught site of Dean. He rolled his eyes at his younger brother.

“What is she doing here?” asked Dean. Great, he was still pissed with you.

“You wanted to talk to her. She’s here now. Talk,” said Sam.

“Did you kidnap her?” asked Dean.

“Yes,” you said. “Kind of.”

“No. Just talk for my sake. Make it my home from Hell present,” said Sam, putting on puppy dog eyes. You must have lost your tolerance for them as you sighed.

“Fine. I want my gun back though,” you said.

“I’ll hold onto this just in case,” said Sam. You growled but let it slide when Sam disappeared, Dean standing quietly off to the side.

“How’s he doing?” you asked, trying to take the focus away from the elephant in the room.

“Good. He said it wasn’t that bad after what happened in the cage. Still feels weird around here,” said Dean, picking at a stray thread on the hem of his shirt. “He uh, he wanted you back. You’re better at the softer side stuff than I am. I was a bit too harsh his first week.”

“How so,” you said, taking a seat at his desk chair, Dean choosing to lean against the wall on the other side of the room.

“I was pissed at you and took it out on him. He didn’t deserve that,” said Dean. “You’re all done now?”

“Yeah. Cleaned up messes for Crowley, fixing his organization. I mean, he thinks that for now anyways. It’ll all come crumbling down in a few months and he’ll have an even bigger problem to deal with but you know, less people selling their souls is a good thing,” you said.

“That’s good,” said Dean. “Everything else been going alright?”

The easy answer was to lie. The honest answer was you missed your family. The painful answer was him going back to Jenny hurt like a bitch and you felt like it was your fault. But you’d waited too long to answer any of those and Dean was moving to sit on his bed.

“Yeah, I’m not good either,” he said, shutting his eyes. “Jenny’s gone. I ended it that day you came by a few months ago.”

“It’s cruel to play with someone’s heart like that, even if I never cared for her,” you said. 

“Yeah well, she’d been screwing two other guys the whole time I knew her so I don’t feel too bad about that,” said Dean. “But you…”

“But me what?” you asked, sighing.

“I’ve been playing with your heart for a long time Y/N. I shouldn’t be allowed near it ever again with all I did to it,” said Dean, looking over to you.

“I forgave you ya know. For all of it. It took me a little time but I did. You had to go and get angry that one night. I still forgave you. I made the deal and hoped you could forgive me too. Jenny…that hurt Dean. I forgave you for that too a while ago. I hurt you and you wanted to give it right back. I’ve forgiven you. I can’t be hurt again though. Not like that, not this soon,” you said, shifting to sit at the end of his bed, your knees tucked up into your chest, chin resting on top of them.

“I forgave you too,” said Dean. You let his words settle for a moment, calming some of your nerves. You unwrapped your legs just long enough to kick off your boots and get back in position.

“What,” you said. Dean smiled, knowing you hadn’t done that because you didn’t want to get his bed dirty.

“Nothing,” he said. “Actually not talking is what got us into this mess. Thank you for coming back.”

“I took off a pair of shoes. I didn’t say I was staying forever,” you said.

“You didn’t say you weren’t staying,” said Dean.

“Sam needs me from what it sounds like,” you said, standing, grabbing your shoes off the floor. “I’ll need fresh sheets in my old room.”

“Did it this morning on the off chance,” said Dean, watching you fail at keeping a smirk off your face.

“I’m here for Sam,” you said, walking out. You lingered at the door for a second. “You too Dean.”

“Do you want any help with your bags?” he asked. You hadn’t turned around yet, couldn’t turn around. You had to take this slow and do it right.

“I got it but thanks.”

 

“Ugh,” you said a few nights later, rolling to your side. Dean was having another nightmare next door. He was louder than usual though and dammit that man was breaking your heart with the whimpers escaping him. With a small groan you slipped out of bed and next door.

He was curled up in a tight ball, shaking a little, sweat making his tee cling to his back. He was muttering and upset with something as he kept letting out ‘no’s’ and ‘please don’t’s’ to the space.

“Dean,” you said softly, walking to the side of the bed, shaking his shoulder. He didn’t budge and you shook harder. “Dean wake up. Come on.”

Dean stopped making sounds as he sucked in a breath, flashing his eyes open and blinking up at you. His green eyes were terrified and you instinctively reached out to run a hand through his hair.

“You’re okay. S’just a bad dream,” you said. Dean nodded his head and sighed, his eyes shutting as you lulled him back to sleep. His breathing evened out and you pulled your hand away, going back to your room. Not even two hours later though he was crying out again, only this time you distinctly heard your name.

You rushed back in, Dean looking as though somehow this one was worse. He was harder to wake and looked just a fearful. When you eventually got him to relax you sat on the edge of the bed.

“You’re safe De. Nothing’s going to happen to you,” you said. He mumbled and you wondered if he’d fallen back asleep.

“Stay,” he said a touch louder. Stay the night, stay with them, stay with him? What did he… “Need you.”

“Move over,” you said quietly. Dean shifted some, burrowing himself in you when you got comfortable. He truly relaxed at that. You hoped he wouldn’t say anything about this in the morning when he realized what he’d done, what he said.

But morning came faster than you expected, a hand resting on your waist and a pair of green eyes watching as you woke up.

“Morning,” he said, smiling a tad. 

“Sleep better?” you asked. He nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“You were leaving and weren’t coming back,” said Dean. 

“It feels different around here. But a good different De. I’m not going away,” you said.

“If I ask you on a date, is it too fast for you?” he asked.

“No, it’s not too fast for that,” you said, shifting closer to him. He hesitated for a moment before kissing your cheek. His eyes found yours as he moved again, this time briefly touching his lips to your own.

“I’ll uh, think of something for tonight then,” he said with a grin.

 

It’d been two weeks since you and Dean started going on your dates. You started going to bed with him at night when you realized the nightmares were a regular occurrence for him. He had less of them now and you were glad he trusted you to do that for him. 

“Sweetheart,” said Dean sleepily one night after he shut off the light and the room was dim. 

“Yeah De?” you asked, rolling so you could face him, even if you were enjoying being cradled up against his warm body.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“I thought I already was,” you teased, kissing him. It was all still slow and sweet at this stage not that you minded.

“Just checking. Can I ask you something else?” he asked.

“Yes…” you said, his eyes opening up to meet yours.

“Will you be my roommate?” he asked.

“I thought I was,” you asked curiously.

“I have my room and you have your room. Can we just have  _our_ room?” he asked.

“I like that. Our room,” you said. “Before you ask, no, it’s not fast.”

“I know. You already fell for me,” he said with a smirk.

“Oh we both fell ages ago. I think we figured out how to land on our feet this time,” you said.

“How’s that?” asked Dean.

“Together,” you said. “Night Dean.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

 

“Dean, everything alright?” you asked, walking into the library the next day, watching as he spun his phone around on the table.

“Not particularly,” he said without looking at you. You took a step forward but were met with harsh eyes. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

“Find out what?” you asked, trying to get closer to him but his gaze freezing you in place. 

“What you did,” said Dean, spinning the phone around again. “What you are.”

“Dean, I’m-”

“You know, Y/N…she was mad at me for going back to Jenny. So much anger in that body of hers,” said Dean, cocking his had. “I had to earn back her friendship when we looked for Sam. It was slow. I hurt her and I understand that.”

“Why are you talking like I’m not here,” you said, taking a step forward and resting your hand over his.

“Because you’re not here, Y/N,” said Dean. “Not really.”

“I don’t…I don’t understand Dean,” you said, spinning him around in his seat, kneeling in front of him. “Talk to me.”

“You aren’t human, Y/N. Not after all the things you did in Hell,” said Dean. You shook your head at him. It’d only been three months. Maybe it hadn’t been all rosy down there and you had more sympathy for Dean than ever before. But three months couldn’t possibly be long enough to make you go dark side…

“Dean, I’m human, I-” you hissed as he grabbed your wrist tightly.

“You are different, Y/N. I think you’re clinging to something that’s kept you from ripping me apart by now but you are not the person I love,” he said. You stood and backed away, feeling the gut punch of his blow but strangely not caring. You shook your head. No you wanted it to hurt. Hurting meant you still cared.

“Why does it…” you asked, trying to remember and wishing you hadn’t, what you did. “Oh no. No.”

“Jenny…I hurt you by going with her. I hurt you too much and you wanted it to stop so you did something stupid. Now you don’t feel anything,” said Dean. You looked around, trying to remember what it was like the first time you brushed your arm against his, the first time you saw him smile, the first time he said he loved you.

You could remember what it felt like but it was distant and didn’t send your heart racing the way it should have. Had you just…been pretending that you felt this whole time? Had you just thought it was poor sleep when you’d never been getting any at all?

“I made you promise to never sell your soul for me once, Y/N. I guess I never expected you to sell it because of me,” said Dean. You took a deep breath, trying to force yourself to panic over the situation but it was just quiet inside.

“Help me get it back,” you said, even if you didn’t want it ever again. Dean, you knew he was in a world of pain that he’d hurt you so badly you went that far. You had to get it back for him and try your damnedest to apologize. “Please.”

“Why? I’ll just break something else in you again,” said Dean, his anger fading away to defeat. “That’s all I do. I was put on this damn earth to hurt you and hurt Sam and ruin everyone I’ve ever tried to love. That place you were in…that’s not Hell. I’m your own personal fucking Hell, sweetheart. I’m sorry but I can’t help you. I’ll just make you hate me more.”

“Dean,” you said, knowing the crack in his voice should make your heart ache. But you had to pretend that it hurt because if you remembered one thing, it was how he used to be your best friend, the person you wanted to spend forever with. He didn’t get to quit like that. “Dean.”

“Just put me out of my fucking misery,” said Dean, looking up at you as you hopped up on the table in front of him. 

“I’ll make you a deal. You get my soul back and you can ask your Y/N how mad she is when she remembers you said those things just now. I bet she’ll be fucking pissed because that girl…you might have broke her fucking heart but she knows that you’re the only one who can put it back together.”

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader gets a call that leaves her with a choice with where she stands with Dean…

“Hello?” you asked, lying on the somewhat lumpy couch, staring up at the ceiling.

“You want to come home yet?” asked Sam. You sighed, turning onto your side to stare out the back door. It was a nice day out, maybe you’d go sit out there and read later. “Y/N, you’re ignoring me.”

“We got it back. I’m me again. Why can’t we all just be happy with that Sam?” you asked, spotting a bug crawling on the floor. You jumped a little, wishing one of the boys was there to deal with it for you. Sam grumbled and went into the same speech you’d heard a thousand times. At this point it just was white noise to you. You hopped off the couch and grabbed a boot, squishing the thing as Sam barked in the background.

A little too loud to just be over the phone.

“Sam, can’t you just, ya know, not be here right now?” you asked, hanging up your phone. You heard him as he came in, your body curling in to face the couch instead of him. He didn’t say anything but took a small seat on the edge where you’d left him space and started running his hand over your head.

“I understood the needing to be alone thing at first Y/N. I really, really do. But it’s time to come home and let us take care of you now,” said Sam. You pulled his hand away without turning around. He huffed a little noise somewhere between agitation and being upset but kept his mouth shut.

“Sam, Dean and I both agreed that being away from each other was the best thing for us,” you said quietly.

“Yes because twelve seconds after having your soul back is a great time to make big life decisions,” said Sam. You grunted and he shoved on your shoulder. “Didn’t Chuck say you’d have to fight to be together? So do it, fight for each other.”

“All Dean and I ever did was fight,” you said.

“No. In fact I only saw you fight twice before I went to Hell. You guys made up easy. Yeah, it’s going to be harder this time now that everything’s out in the open but you have to try,” said Sam. “Dean is.”

“No he isn’t,” you said.

“You think I was going to break my word to you and come up here for no good reason? I was sent by your soulmate,” said Sam, putting his hand back on your head, ruffling your hair to mess it up.

“No you weren’t. Dean wants nothing to do with me after I broke him like that,” you said.

“I could use the help with getting put back together,” said Dean, your head popping up from over the couch to see him stepping in through the open front door. “Hey.”

“I’m going to go grab a bite while the two of you…talk. I’ll be back in a few hours to take you guys home,” said Sam giving you one more ruffle and Dean a pat on the back before you both heard him drive off.

“You look…nice,” said Dean, looking at the floor for the most part. You nodded and he sighed, carefully making his way over. You prepared yourself for whatever speech he’d rehearsed but got something else instead. His hands grabbed yours and pulled you to your feet before he pressed his lips to yours.

Holy fucking shit did that feel amazing. Apparently kissing him with a soul was only a gajillion times better than not having one. Dean was…calming, like you were excited but still it gave you a certain peace you hadn’t felt before.

“I need my roommate back,” said Dean. He leaned his forehead against yours, running his finger tips along your arms, eventually wrapping his hands around yours. “We made a mistake saying to be apart.”

“We make a lot of mistakes,” you said, opening your eyes, seeing those green eyes softly staring back. “I’m sorry for-”

“Y/N, were both sorry for a lot and we both have forgiven a lot. But we’re only punishing ourselves at this point and for what? Because the other one won’t do it to us? I just want to go home with my best friend again and watch movies in our pajamas and mess with Sam and take you out on dates and show you off to the world and-”

“Alright, you’ve won me over,” you said, moving your arms so you could pull yourself against his warm body.

“You aren’t going to say no?” asked Dean. You laughed as he was clearly expecting more of a battle in this.

“All I ever needed was you. You’re right, it’s time we stop punishing ourselves. Let’s try. Actually try this time,” you said. 

“I will but only if…” said Dean. “I still feel like I cheated on you. We weren’t together but I don’t…I made you…” he said, struggling for the words.

“Shh,” you said, one up your hands trailing up to his head as his dropped to your shoulder. “We’re okay De.”

“But-”

“Trust me. You and I, we’re good.”

 

Three Months Later

“Alright, out of the bunker Sammy,” said Dean, patting his little brother on the shoulder as he placed his duffel in his lap. Sam raised an eyebrow but you gave him a smile to remind he had agreed to this.

“See you guys in a few days,” said Sam, giving you both a hug. “Y/N, you damn better still be here when I get back.”

“As if I could stay away from you Winchester boys,” you said, waving him out. “Drive safe Sammy.”

When he was gone Dean sat up on one of the tables, kicking his feet lightly, smiling over to where you stood. It’d been three months since you were back. Three months of letting the occasional awkward glance or comment fade away. Three months of being friends again only this time you both knew what was happening tonight.

“I was thinking we could head out around six? Catch a movie, some late dinner, come home and see what happens,” said Dean. You smiled and took a seat beside him, kicking your feet so it matched his rhythm. He laughed when he noticed and soon started playing footsies with you.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” you asked him, knowing he’d been planning on asking you at the end of the night. He kissed your temple and you tilted your head up, getting one on the lips, the one you’d been waiting three months to feel again.

“I’ll do you one better. I’ll be your soulmate. Deal?” he asked, pulling you up and onto his lap. 

“Deal.”


End file.
